7 Lies that affect long-term relationships

The lack of honesty and truth destroy any affective bond.

Several psychologists expose the most delicate situations in which you need to be transparent.

Knowing another person to have a serious relationship involves having a lot of honesty and agreements to respect. The idea is that there are no secrets between the two and that they know each other quite well, both in the happiest moments and in the problems.

The truth is that everything can go better if both tell the truth about who they are and what they want from that relationship.

Research published by Robert Weiss, an expert on sentimental relationships, explains the five behaviors that an infidel will continue to perform almost by nature.

The magazine Selecciones gathers the main fallacies that obstruct happiness and destroy someone, in the article “Pretexts and lies that kill relationships“.

We list them next.

7 Lies that affect long-term relationships

1- When you are married and you do not accept it (Do not say it).

It is very common for those engaged or married to have an affair with someone else and during that time they do not dare to tell their partner what is happening.
Marriage therapist Shadeen Francis explains that “lying about your freedom will be devastating when your partner discovers you cheated her.

Sometimes people lie, say they are free and hide their children.

That is not fair to anyone. ”

2- When you are not emotionally free.

Suppose you are ready to start a new relationship, when in truth the feelings towards your ex still exist and you have several wounds to heal, it does not mean anything other than driving your new future to failure.

Being honest with yourself is the step you need to take before hurting another human being.

First, attend to your own emotional burdens, then you can commit to someone else.

3- You avoid talking about your past.

If you are going to share your life, be sure, to be honest.

It is not about giving details of the past, but let your partner know who you are, why you ended your previous relationships, what were your mistakes, etc.

Says Kimberly Hershenson, therapist, that it is important for the other to know what has not worked in your life and if you keep the same behavior then, for example, if you remain unfaithful.

For the expert, there is a small list of things you should know about your future husband or wife. “If you have had depression, anxiety, abuse of toxic substances, etc.,” she says.

4- About the money.

It is undoubtedly one of the most complicated issues. Combining personal finances is difficult and requires a lot of confidence.

Shadeen Francis comments that “hiding or lying about the individual’s ability to contribute to mutual finances can be a painful betrayal.”

Clarifying everything on the subject can determine if you make a prenuptial agreement or the one that suits you.

5- About the children (If you want to have them or not).

It is another issue to address frankly, even marks a decision as important as to continue together or finishing.

In this regard says psychologist Carla Marie Manly, that when a person does not feel free to be herself, frustration accumulates with the passage of time.

So before one of you grieves, explain why and how you want to move forward.

6- Pretending to be healthy or sick.

“Many people pretend to be sick, injured or have a chronic disease, that is extremely cruel,” says Shadeen Francis.

What is behind such behavior?

The expert suggests that it is to blame someone, get compassion, care, and support.

On the other hand, those who, being very sick, do not want to confess to their partner, often do so to protect them, avoid anxieties and fears.

However, that makes it impossible for them to receive support. Both behaviors distinguish an unreliable person.

7- Standing everything without enjoying sexually.

Being honest in everything, even intimate encounters would save a relationship.

For psychologist Marni Feuerman, cheating is like a snowball that grows and grows, because it is easier to continue lying than, to tell the truth.

Some prefer to keep their true feelings and emotions at bay, even to avoid being rejected.

On the sexual level, it is recommended that you do not hide the dissatisfaction, better talk about how you feel and what you do not like.

If something is very true, according to the psychologist is that “your partner cannot fix what they do not know”.

(Source: https://www.elsalvador.com)